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Friendship
Friendship is not a competition, but some people make it so. For the past three years, the death count of lives I’ve lost has surpassed 20 and I just stopped counting after that. I didn’t want to turn those lives into a statistic. Each life lost was a stab in my heart, and it never…
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Another visit from the reaper
My uncle passed away the day we buried my grandmother, a year after his twin passed away. They were both amazing people who lived incredible lives. My aunt, the twin, was a carpenter and built their homes, one in Long Island and another in Connecticut. Both were born female, but one lived as a lesbian…
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Goodbye Inay
Inay finally passed away today, August 4th, around 4 in afternoon. I thought I was prepared because she was 103 years old, and we had all the time to prepare, but I guess you can never be prepared for such things. When my sister sent me the message I immediately went into shock and cried.…
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Buddha and Grief
“When you take a life, you take your own.” ~Dune I wonder if compassion is something born out of suffering. To be present to those who are here now is maybe something we learn only because we have suffered through loss. To understand the suffering of another being is to understand your own. Through the…
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Death Song for Eggy
Eggy your body is rotting The flies are surrounding you Eggy your body is cold Under the ground Eggy I miss you like crazy but I know your death is true Maybe it would’ve been better you were never found Eggy my heart is exploding but i know that dead thing ain’t you Eggy I…
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Birthday
Today is my “birthday” and it blows. My heart is still broken and there’s no way to quicken this grief no matter how hard I’ve tried. An outpour of birthday wishes and condolences from family and friends have brought me some comfort. Also, the best husband ever has showered me with gifts. I told him…
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Aegon is Gone
Why Aegon? After experiencing so much loss, why my baby? I never asked for kittens, but this one found me. He walked into our home searching for his siblings, hiding in the corner of our house. I heard him crying and I named him Aegon, the hidden one. I called him Eggy for short which…
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Haley follows George
2021 is supposed to be the year of hope and change, the year we finally rid ourselves of the tyrant, the year of positive change, but even so, it has been a year met with more death and grief. My mom was furious and in denial that Haley, our family Carolina dog and George’s partner…
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The Pirate Dream
I dreamt my nephew, who is a toddler, skipped out on school to participate in a dance competition. I turned into his mother and followed him into the dance studio where I saw him and many people dancing freestyle. Everyone left and I was the only one in the room. As I headed out the…
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Enigmatic Dreams
Rather than dreaming of George when he already passed, I actually woke up from one as he was just passing. He was running towards me smiling and the grass was green. When my grandfather passed, he was on a road waving to me, smiling, before I even got the news. The brain can be really…