My oldest son, age twenty, is learning to drive. I hope it’s not a mistake having him out there on the road when he can barely function on his feet. He dropped out of all his classes for the third semester in a row. For the whole two years he has started at the community college, he only completed one semester and his grades have not been good. He does not check his emails regularly, and when I check in on him he is usually just goofing off with his friends. Honestly, I fear for his future, and I know that as long as he stays in this house he will not learn to stand on his own. I have tried to give him options, but he never listens. He is a stubborn, man child who has no respect for his parents.

I set some boundaries and told him that if he doesn’t get his act together and move out by the end of the year I would be raising his rent. Currently, I only take out fifty bucks a month of his paycheck for rent and I put it in a savings account for him because I know he can’t save money, so all the money he gives me really doesn’t leave him at all. I told him that I would be raising his rent to $500 if he is still here after the end of the year. I hope this will motivate him to move out so he can have a good dose of the real world. He moved out with a friend, briefly, a year ago after I kicked him out for stealing money from his brother and breaking house rules. His friend’s parents didn’t keep him long so he begged to come home and promised he would follow the rules. That did not last very long. How quickly they forget!

There’s only two main things I have really asked from my kids: for them to keep the house clean and organized, and for them to keep up their school work. He has failed in both. He has broken all his promises, and once again, he has forgotten how hard it is to survive out there. He talks about moving into an apartment with a couple of his friends as if it is something easy. Life for his is just fun and games. He doesn’t make that much money, he doesn’t have a financial plan or budget, and he hasn’t signed up for classes. I guess it is for the best since he ends up dropping all the classes anyways, but it is really frustrating that he is throwing away opportunities from my veteran’s benefits. Not every kid has access to go to college, and he is throwing all that away!

I think the best path for him is to join the military like I did. I guess life is giving me a dose of my own medicine. I understand how it is like to feel lost after high school, and now I understand the burden I placed on my parents at his age, but I have always been an excellent student and I knew the importance of having a good education. I also listened to my parents. This kid doesn’t get it. I don’t know if he ever will, but I know the only way he can is to push him out of this nest. Still, I feel quite uneasy on where he is headed right now.

Good thing learning to bake bread has been teaching me patience. I need to just let him fall on his face and learn from his own mistakes, again.