I still love tech, but I find myself dreading the applications for tech jobs and the thought of working in that field again.  It’s not the tech that jaded me, but the experiences I’ve had, especially with the bias and discrimination by both men and women.  I am tired of being seen as a tool rather than a human being. Most of the work feels petty and unfulfilling.  I crave for something more meaningful and rewarding that makes me feel like I am actually making a difference in this world.  I want serious work where I can see a difference in a field that demands respect.

When I applied for university I found myself torn between two fields.  I pursued Visual Arts because Art is part of who I am, and I had experience in the Air Force working in that field.  It was a field I was good at, and I don’t have any regrets.  The other field I really wanted to explore was psychology, especially with young children.  I took child development and worked as a school age teacher.  I did not get paid much, but it was rewarding.

Now, I ponder about going to graduate school.  Some people think it is preposterous that I should be changing career direction so late in my career.  This is not the first time I made such a change.  There was a period where I did studied law and only worked in that field for a couple of years.  The knowledge and experience I gained was invaluable and I have no regrets.

I wonder if these changes of cycling special interests are related to my being on the spectrum. I’ve asked other women in support groups if they had similar issues, and I find that I am not alone.  This is exciting and something I would like to explore further.

Pursuing a Masters in psychology sounds like a wonderful dream.  I would love to help people in the autistic community, and encourage parents to advocate for their children.  I know it was very difficult for me to raise my eldest son without the support of the autistic community as he was diagnosed late at sixteen years old, after hospitalization.  If It would be great to help parents who are struggling, as I can relate.

The thought of taking the GRE’s and going back to school overwhelms and scares me, yet it has become a new obsession.   The more I obsess the more I feel like taking action.  I guess I will see if this will take me anywhere.

I have already applied to a few ABA companies looking for entry level behavior therapists.  Usually, these places provide RBT certification.  I was surprised to hear a call back not from one, but two companies in a day.  There must be a demand for this type of work.

Will I stop my art and tech because I am also into other things?  No.  I am into what I am into because that is part of who I am.  I may take breaks, but I always return to things I am passionate about.   I feel very fortunate that I have the capacity and courage to try out new things or go back to things I did not pursue before.

People may think that I am all over the place, but when I look at my career choices, it all makes sense to me.  Like my hobbies, I have many special interests.  While men on the spectrum are stereotyped on obsessing over one special interest, I believe there are women and men on the spectrum who cycle through an ever-evolving variety of them.  I can’t wait to learn more about autism which will give me a better understanding on how I am the way I am.