“This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”

Selective empathy is on the rise.  Fritz Breithaupt, in his book, “The Dark Sides of Empathy”, explores one’s ability to empathize with others as also a prerequisite for deliberate acts of humiliation and cruelty.  He explains that empathy is not just a basis of moral action.

The act of empathy can sometimes be misguided.

I had a conversation about a recent experience on gender bias and discrimination with another woman the other day.  She listened to my story and told me she didn’t want to choose sides even though nobody asked her to.  She said that she had to hear both sides of the story before coming to a conclusion.  Nobody asked her to cast judgement.

This was about a soul reaching out for emotional support only to hear that her friend was uncomfortable choosing sides.   With those words all the suffering exposed in her confidence were simply dismissed as if it all meant nothing.

I know women who claim to be for women’s empowerment and part of the #metoo movement, but when the topic comes too close they fall into the “grey” zone.  One of the issues confronting women for years was not being believed, even by other women.  Rape victims were probed while the empathy went to the accusers.  People wanted to know both sides of the story, and these women were robbed of compassion and support.

We need to stand behind the ideas we say we believe in.  We need to not run away when things get too close.  We need to listen to women! #believeher

I will end this by quoting one of my fiends on social media when I brought this topic up.

“Selective empathy isn’t just about picking side, it’s also about narrowing your views once you do into a simple black and white, right vs. wrong scenario.  So much of life falls into the grey zone.  If you want to be a better person, feel free to pick a side, but try to see the many color gradients between black and white and recognize that what falls into those grey zones might be your enemy or it might be you!”